The Expert Tips for a Successful Chat
By Lovla's blog team
Start the great conversation
Conversations start differently depending on who you talk to and how attractive you find each other's profiles. But in general, it’s always great to have an idea of why you want to begin the chat in the first place. Think about your motives for starting the conversation.
1. Express you have something in common
One of the fastest ways to start a connection with another human being is to talk about what you have in common. If you’ve discovered the other person shares your interest in gardening, then it’s a great icebreaker, and a good way to seem interesting. Ask a question, showing that you’re an expert in your common interest.
2. Avoid one-word openings
You can easily find more to write than just "hi". Otherwise, you’ll appear lazy if you try this. So, use the information from the profile instead, to give a compliment. Put words into what you like about them and describe why. Also, don’t forget to incorporate the first name of the person, which has shown to increase the response rate by 20%.
3. Show you’re sincere and interested in their personality
Honesty is alpha and omega when it comes to forming relationships. So stick to the truth, never promise something you can’t keep, by pretending to be someone else and drop the cheesy pickup lines. The person needs to get to know YOU, so be yourself.
Keep the conversation going
Now that you’ve opened the ball, here are some effective ways you can stay interesting in the eyes of the other person and move towards the first date:
1. Continue from where you left off
Use the last message and build on it. A natural conversation also takes place fluently by continuing a conversation topic. If you start each message with a new subject, you’ll appear impersonal, mechanical, and seem like you don’t care. You gain lots of brownie points if you can refer back to what was said at the very beginning. That way you show that you want to get to know them well.
2. Ask the open-ended questions
One way to keep a conversation going is to keep the other person talking. The best way to do so is by asking questions that require more than a single 'yes' or 'no' answer. Make the conversation colourful by asking in-depth questions about what they like about something in particular, or how they’ve formed their opinion. But ask only one question at a time so they don’t become too overwhelmed.
3. Use your surroundings
If you’re running out of new ways to keep the conversation going, use things from your surroundings. It also shows that you trust giving them an insight into your daily life. Did you encounter a weird experience at the grocery store you have to share, or did a colleague of yours say something really funny? Then don’t hold back. It’ll make it much easier to relate to you when you share your experiences.
Did the conversation dry out? Discover how you provide first aid
It’s good to keep in mind the fact that no answer is also an answer in itself. But before you throw in the towel, here are some tips on how to rekindle the conversation.
1. Say it like it is
Acknowledge the obvious, and make a funny remark that the conversation stopped. Never blame the other party, you’ll just come off as desperate. Instead, try with an easy entry angle that brings out the smile again.
2. Go back to the peak of your conversation
When was the conversation best? Were there any fun facts or something personal you had in common? Refer back to this in a humorous way and restart the conversation. It shows their personality has made an impression on you and that you haven’t forgotten what they liked.
3. Have patience
Write only one message after the conversation stopped and accept if the chemistry just wasn't there. If you keep squeezing the lemon, well then the conversation becomes sour. Always remember that YOU are the prize, and it’s their loss if the chemistry wasn’t there this time. Use your energy to start something new with another sweet person instead and learn from past experiences.